Talk me Down!!

Someone talk me down. day 4 and I am feeling the need to reach out and touch someone so bad I can taste it. No one here to talk me off the ledge. I sent the prince a message, will he reply this time? I just don't see why he can't either say go fly a kite or sorry been busy, whatever it is I think i need to know. I think I deserve to know. Maybe I will wait and see if he replies and if not in a couple of hours I may just pick up the phone and reach out and strangle him.

So far no message. I seem like a desperate freak. he has turned me into a desperate freak. OMG what to do. Tell that fairy godmother to turn him into a door mat so i can stomp all over him.

So I guess by Day 4 I start getting mad about it. I feel hurt and angry now. No longer sad, at least not today. Just hurt and feel so mad. I had planned to visit him in the summer of 2009. I still want to. i don't want another 15 years to go by and me not get to see this person. Not get to tell him how I feel. That I am sorry for hurting him years ago. Is this payback for that? Time alone with your thoughts can make you dangerous.

What else is going on in the world these days? Gas prices, gas shortage. Waited in line today for 1 hour. 1 hour to think about why I was being ignored. Damn it! I can't function til I know what the hell is going on.

Snow White-Fair princess that is to be loved and adored. More like ignored and left in pain. Fairy tales make us think that a guy will come and sweep us off our feet and make our lonely sad worlds better. Not true. There is no prince charming, no white knight on a horse coming to save the day. Only men that treat women like they don't matter. That we are not good enough for them. We can't fit in between work, friends, football or whatever else they think they have that is more important. I have a job, I work long hard hours, I have friends, still I make time for someone and I am left to feel less than nothing. Left to feel like I was used and abused. My friend "flyboy" said I should use and abuse this guy. Truth is right now I would do just that to give him a small taste of how I feel. But I don't think i could. I would take one look at him and be lost in his blue eyes.

Maybe someday he will read this and see that I care. see that I am not without feelings. Until then i will continue to blog daily as to how I feel and maybe one day i will be able to look back at this and laugh. Right now I just want to cry.