I did it again!

As much as I would like to say it has been a fantastic year and that my life has really been wonderful. I can not. Life sucks even more if at all possible.

My father has left my mother after 33 years of marriage. I can't believe that. He just moved out saying he was in love with another woman. As long as my mother is ok that is all that matters to me regarding this.

Found my biological father on facebook of all places. On Facebook. Man has never contacted me once and I am 38 years old.

Brings me to my birthday this year. As in previous posts you have seen that my birthdays tend to lean to the non existent time of nothing. No event, no fun, no man. This year was way different.

I met a guy, a great guy. He took me away for an overnight and it was basically a celebration of both of our days since his is so close to mine. Now this was a wonderful night full of fun and laughter and well...you can guess. This birthday did not such. Most of all he called on my birthday to tell me Happy Birthday. That is really all I have ever wanted. Someone to say Hi, glad you exist. This made this year wonderful.

Now as I have said in the past, I don't believe in a price and I don't think someone will sweep me off my feet and ride me off into the sunset. I don't believe in love or romance or anything remotely similar to that. What I do believe in is the need to have a companion in your life. Someone to have fun with, someone to talk to and to share time with. Not someone to get mushy with.

Now this guy dumps me on Sat saying he has commitment issues and give me the it's not you it's me speech. Oh not a speech excuse me, in an email. I don't even rank a phone call. however, I am a terrific person.

So my question is how do I deal. I email him with my theory of not hurt just sad because I like hanging with him and there is such a thing as friends with benefits..LOL

Do guys seem to have something that always says a girl can not just be in it for the fun and thrill? I mean I just don't get it. I am different. I don't want someone to take care of me and provide for me and all that crap. I just want someone to want to be around me. Is that so hard to get?

I am off to stew in this some more but I think that at least this time I got a word of what was going on. I am not suck in limbo with this one.