Have you ever wondered why you bother caring about someone that just does not seem to care about you? I sit here reading this as I type and I know how crazy I sound. I sit here waiting for a man that lives 3000 miles from me to text, to call, to give me some sign that he gives a damn about me. I am not a stupid woman. I used to believe in fairy tales but I have seen that they are not real. No man is going ride up on a white horse or a shiny motorcycle and save me from my life.
I sometimes wonder if he just thought he was getting on over on me. Maybe after what I did 15 years ago he thought it would be funny to hurt me. I guess he and his friends are having a big laugh at this one.
Am I to feel like I lost the love of my life forever? I know people say that you will go on meet someone new and all that jazz but I don't want that. I want the guy that I gave up 15 years ago. i miss the man that made me happy. The guy that made me smile and laugh and brought so much into my life. he taught me how to love and how to be. I can't go a single day without doing something because he taught me how. i drive a 5-speed because he taught me how.
On my knees I will ask, one last chance for one last dance. One last dance would be amazing. I am planning for one more dance. No last to it at all. I am going to see this guy again. I am going to get my happy ending, my fairy tale kiss.
Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there is just one left. There is one left. I just have to keep believing that it will happen. I have work to do on myself before I can work on the us I am after. Time for me to rethink this.
If I have this time where I am being left out in the cold I can use it to my advantage. I can keep dreaming and work towards my goal. Wow, I have a new goal now. Time to get back on track and get my mojo back. Yes Snow White is back!! Snow believes life will be a fairy tale again. I might even go as far as to find the toad and tell him how I forgive him for hurting me and that I am sorry I hurt him as well. The toad and I were just wrong from the word go. It was all sideways. I want to get myself on track and I know I can do this.
Snow is finding her groove again.
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